The Bond That Got Even Stronger Written by Anna Osella Story by
Dandi Performed by
The Bond That Got Even Stronger
Sisterhood is stronger than anything. During a time where relationships were tested and people were separated, THE BOND THAT GOT EVEN STRONGER celebrates the love between sisters, and how we find our family.
Some people come into your life for reason, in the form of a friendship or relationship or family. I was lucky enough to find all of them, a sisterhood which could never be broken. Like any relationship you go through ups and downs but before I get into that chapter let me start from the top.
So I first met my sister at this youth group called BMEYPP, and it was a very special space at the time because it was for people from minority ethnic backgrounds so I was really excited going there because I wanted to learn more about my culture. I remember walking in the door and seeing my sister-to-be and I was just amazed of how similar we looked. So, from that we got into a real interesting conversation about where she was from, where I was from, and we both realised that we were both European and we spoke different languages which was like a beautiful kick start to our friendship. And then from that day onwards we would go to this youth group every single Wednesday, and we would dance and we would cook together and then we found out that we were going to the same college. So we were literally with each other 24 hours a day.
We were so used to going out and about with each other, going to events, seeing each other on quite a regular basis, and then once, you know, it was really quite clear that it was complete lockdown, that we had to stay in our homes and we weren’t allowed to see anybody unless it’s the people we lived with, it was really difficult to adapt to that. Because obviously we both knew and understood that it was for our safety and everybody else’s safety, but also it kind of played on both of our mental health and our anxiety issues because we were so conjoined at the hip and we would do pretty much everything together – it was really difficult to then have to adapt to being solitary.
Through this whole lockdown she actually managed to get a job through lockdown which was amazing, I mean I was so so proud of her but, you know, it was really difficult because it wasn’t like she could go to an actual interview and meet her co-workers – everything was done through Zoom. My sister she’s quite, like, a people person – so she likes being around people and, like, being part of a team and I think for her that was really difficult because, you know, even though there was a team there she wasn’t around her team so she felt really quite isolated.
Through the lockdown she finally made the decision that she was going to move in with her partner and she actually moved in lockdown and I think for her that was really really difficult because she felt really really isolated in the fact that she had work that she was doing on Zoom and from home and she was in this new house that didn’t feel quite homely yet. You know it takes a little while to really feel like home. And her partner still had work to go to which was outside of the household, so she was actually spending quite a lot of days and hours literally by herself and her new job was something that she’s never done before and she couldn’t, kind of, like, ask for help from anybody and that, kind of, really started to get to her. Because of the separation anxiety that she has, she really, kind of, quite crumbled under the pressure of, like, running a new home and having this new job that she couldn’t actually meet any of her co-workers and it was just all through Zoom. She had University on top of that so she was actually struggling quite a bit and I was thinking – well what could I do to help her without you know breaking any of these rules?
So I just started by calling her every day and saying, you know, “how are you” and “how’s work going” and helping her if I could help her and I think there was a lot of other things that were going on with her that she actually, you know, after a while did tell me over the phone and I actually made the decision to let her be in my lockdown bubble. So I actually started going and seeing her over the weekends and I would always buy her her favourite snacks and I bought her some yellow roses that went really well with her new front room decor and we just started, you know, kind of forgetting about all the seriousness and all of the sad things going on in lockdown. We tried to make memories in a, kind of, world that had quite a lot of sad things going outside the door, and we would make TikToks together and we just started having a laugh and I think, you know, that benefited me and it benefited her and it was, like, even though the outside world is kind of crazy at the moment when we were together we would forget about all of our stresses and just enjoy being with each other.
My sister is obsessed with Oreos so I would always buy her a pack of Oreos and I absolutely love crisps, so I would buy like 3 packs of Oreos, 2 packets of crisps and, you know, sometimes we would have a little drink on Friday as well, and I would just turn up and we would sometimes sit there and just, kind of like, chat about our week, and, like, our stresses or what went well through our week or eating all of our snacks within like an hour and then we’d both have a huge sugar rush and would put music on specifically afrobeats which me and my sister both love dancing to. And we would just do that for hours and hours – just having a laugh, dancing with each other, having dance battles like the dance films we used to watch. And whenever we cooked dinner would always plan ahead in case we needed to go to the shops to get anything but we would always like cooking Italian or Spanish food because my sister Spanish and I’m Italian. Sometimes we’d also like merge our dishes together that created a new one which was quite fun and exciting, and it really kind of turned into a very special day for me and my sister, making a really lovely dinner. And it was just such a nice time to, like, you know, spend time with my sister and that’s what got us through our weeks of stress and anxiety – we both knew that we’re going to see each other on Friday and we knew it was going to be a good Friday night.
I will definitely not take for granted time – because you cannot get time back so I think what we all realised is that through this lockdown even though it’s been really difficult and there’s been a lot of challenges we all kind of realised we’re not gonna get this time back, so we need to make the absolute most of the time that we have together. And to think, you know, in a few years’ time to look back on this time and not just remember all the stressful and the sad times but actually have really beautiful, like, joyful memories in this time.
So me and my sister love planning ahead and we both have agreed that this summer is going to be definitely a summer to remember and we’ve already made plans that were going to go to this two day festival to see one of our favourite artists, Sean Paul, and we’ve just – we just keep talking about what we gonna wear or are we going to do our makeup like, what we’re going to do our hair like. We’re definitely gonna be matching! That’s like one of the things that we want to do would be matching. And we just keep thinking about – you know my sister she has her own event night called Tropicalia which is Latina and Spanish music so we’ve just been talking about what themes that she can do and, like, looking forward to being able to go to her event and support her., but also we’ve definitely planned that we want to go away together.
We’ve found skills and found coping mechanisms that we never thought we could actually reach because me and my sister, we both suffer from anxiety and we both suffer from mental health and we’re not scared to, you know, say that and I think what’s been really kind of interesting through these times, is that we’ve actually helped each other gain coping mechanisms, together and separately. And I think we were both kind of shocked that we thought we knew everything about each other but actually these times where we’ve, kind of, really been the backbone for each other we’ve actually found things – new things and different things – and we actually really reflected and were like “wow we have really changed”. Like when we compare selves to 10 years ago just being young teenagers to now, it’s, like, just so crazy to think that we’ve been with each other for, like, this length of time. But hopefully, actually, like, how much we have changed as individuals – like going from teenagers to young women – but also how much we’ve actually helped each other through these ten years and I just can’t wait for the future ahead cause I know we’re going to be part of each other’s lives until till the very end.
Because I can’t see my life without my sister in the past present and future because we’ve been interweaved in each other’s lives for so long that I think this is just a bond that’s never gonna get broken.